Saturday, May 31, 2014

Quizzing


My latest obsession is taking the quizzes on Facebook. If you spend any amount of time on the site, you know the ones I’m talking about. They ask you questions to define your personality which in turn determines where you should go, what you should do or who you should be. A lesser person would be quite unsettled by these things but someone like myself…bossy, boisterous and irritating…I find them hilarious and entertaining. Thus, my obsession.

 

As a for instance, I have found that my dominant personality trait is prudence. Prudence? I think this one is a little off as I am definitely not tactful, vigilant or circumspect. But then again, neither am I rash nor reckless. I guess loud and outspoken or nosy wouldn’t be as nice of an answer as prudence. Perhaps the quiz masters need to be politically correct in their answers.

 

They didn’t fare any better with the question of what kind of storm I am. My answer was ice storm. I am definitely thinking no. My temper runs too hot and heavy for ice to be anywhere near me. A more apt response for me would be a fire storm. Or even a hurricane. But ice? No way.

 

Why I did the quiz about what extreme sport I would try, I have no idea. Not the extreme sport kind of gal. But my sport, if I so chose to take the challenge, would be sand kiting. First of all, I have no clue what it is. Second, the only thing I do in the sand is lay there and soak up the sun. And lastly? I would definitely be on a zip line if anything. And even that is a little iffy.

 

Flirtatious, fearless, factual or friendly? I got fearless. Now I’m not going to be nit picky here but pretty much all of these (with the exception of factual) would have fit me just fine. Anyone who knows me can tell you I am an outrageous flirt and I’m always friendly to anyone who hasn’t pissed me off in the past (and even then, I forgive and forget easily). I usually get my facts straight but does that make me factual? Don’t know and it really doesn’t matter in the long run.

 

They got it right on the ball with the question of what my brain is good at. Linguistic thinking. I wouldn’t be much of a writer if it weren’t, now would I? Although I sometimes have my doubts about whether I am a worthy wordsmith, I usually get the punctuation correct, rarely misspell anything and almost always get the grammar goodly. And that’s all that counts as long as you have an idea in your head to put on paper. Right?

 

My life song? Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO. Nothing needs to be added. As long as I know it, that’s all that matters.

 

They also were correct on what kind of TV mom I am. Peg Bundy. With a little more brain power though. Granted, if I were Peg, Al would have gotten hit on the head with a large object long ago and would be residing on the nearest ocean floor.  Maybe Roseanne would have been a better answer?

 

My favorite of all the quizzes would be this…Do I have what it takes to be a millionaire? I. Got. 99%! Yup, the big time. Of course, with the way things go in my life, I will straddle that 1% until I’m dead and buried. But if I do make it, the first thing I plan on buying? No, not a car or a big, fancy house. My first purchase would be a No!No! For those of you who have no clue what this is…it’s a $280 hair removal thingee. It promises there will be no nicks or cuts or in my case, gashes. I will be hair free for up to eight weeks. And I will never again have to rip my hair out by the roots with hot wax or tweezers. Yessiree, I’m getting a No!No!. It will have to wait until pigs fly or horses crawl out of my butt but I will have one.

 

My point in all of this, other than to annoy or amuse you, is to encourage you to try one of these tests if you haven’t already done so. They mean nothing but you can get a good laugh out of your answers. Just take it from me, I wouldn’t steer you wrong.

 

PS…after I wrote all of this, I learned that my Disney villain personality is most like Scar from The Lion King and my Pirates of the Caribbean alter-ego is Will Turner. Oh, and I also have a bipolar disorder. There really is no point in my telling you this. None at all. Just wanted you to know.

Saturday, May 24, 2014

Under A Rock

Did you ever have one of those weeks when just about everything you think about, attempt to do or look at makes you wish you could hide under a rock somewhere? Have you? I just had one of those weeks. Has anyone else been there? Like when...


You look in a mirror and realize that not only are you having a bad hair day but you have a quarter inch of gray roots showing and still another week left until you are due to color? I blame my mother for this...I inherited the gray hair gene from her.


You notice that people in the obituaries are getting closer to your age? You tell  yourself, wow, people are dying younger and younger these days? OK, so that sounds morbid, doesn't it? (Sort of fits my mood.) Read on...


You also notice in those same obituaries that your parent's friends are slowly dying off one by one? And that you really need to stop reading that section of your hometown paper?


You say something you think is very prolific and get told by a five-year-old that what you said is ridiculous? Or worse yet, he just gives you that look? The one that makes you feel about 100 years old and feeble. Or stupid. Or both.


You see a Facebook post showing that one of your dearest friends is celebrating her 48th wedding anniversary? Yes, Lynn, that would be you. Congratulations on not only being married that long but for training your man early on how to be a good husband. Actually, this one doesn't make me want to find the rock to hide under. I just wanted to give a shout out to my friend. But it does make me realize that if I ever want to make it that far, I will have to find someone and marry him TODAY, then live to be 96 or thereabouts. So, it just ain't gonna happen for me. Not that I couldn't live that long; just that it's late in the day, I'm in my PJ's already and not planning on going out.


You have moved far away from your friends and then you realize (again, via Facebook) that they are doing fun things like they did when you were there, only now they are doing them without you??? I guess I should have told them beforehand that all that needed to stop when I hit the state line. They were supposed to sit morosely in a corner and miss me terribly.


You file for divorce and realize that you have been down this road before? Ok, so this one is just a personal thing but I'm sure it could happen to others. And probably has. Not wishing it on anyone. I'm a big fan of long, happy marriages (see several paragraphs above). And not that I'm upset about it since I'm long past ready to close that chapter in my life. Just sad that I have to go through all the aggravation again. Because this time I'm a grownup.


You think you are ready to end the week with a job well done, all your work is caught up and you can enjoy your long weekend and POW...your boss loads you up again? Yup, just checked in my file and she piled it on. Well, damn it, I'm having a weekend! I'm not going to think about what kind of workload I will have next week. And I'm definitely not going to think about how excited that  makes me because in a sick sense, I love being overloaded with work. Makes me shiver in anticipation...not really, but I do enjoy it.


Now where in the world is that rock?