Thursday, October 31, 2013

Dear Dyson

I just wrote the following letter to the powers that be at Dyson. I wonder what kind of response, if any, I'll get...

Dear Dyson,

Nearly two years ago I purchased a DC33 vacuum from a local Target store, the second I have purchased in five years. I have since wondered why I did so as I have had the same issue with the second as I did the first. No, it didn't break; I left it with my ex-husband during a generous moment. Actually, that's not true. It wouldn't fit in the truck and I thought taking the crib was more important. Ahem...moving on...
 
What drives me nuts about this vacuum is the hose for the attachments. It is stiff and uncooperative even after all this time. As I said, I had the same problem with the first one for three years. It caused many gray hairs to sprout and may very well have ended my marriage. Well, not really but... Using my current one is as difficult now as it was when it was new. Two years ago. I stretch it out completely and begin to aim toward what needs cleaned (ceilings, corners, etc.) and it retreats back to it's original length within a minute causing the vacuum itself to tip over. Every. Single. Time. On top of that, it is causing me to say things that my four-year-old may or may not be repeating to the preacher on Sundays. Definitely not a good thing since I'm otherwise very mild-mannered and I usually don't spout vulgarities unless I am under extreme duress.
 
Your commercials show how user friendly the onboard attachments are and this is just not true as I have spoken to other customers who have the same issue and will never buy another Dyson product. I don't want to go that far because, for one reason, with the exception of the $%@# hose, I like the way it works. For another, I'm flat broke and can't afford to buy a toy broom, let alone a new vacuum cleaner.
 
What I want to know is how can this be resolved? All I ever hear in your ads is about innovative design, how suction is never lost, blah blah blah. And that is true (unless you happen to suck up a toy soldier or too much long, red hair). You never mention lost patience with a machine that frustrates me to no end each time I use it. I am just tired of the struggle. I can't take it much longer and I worry that my poor, aggravating vacuum will suffer the consequences.
 
I hope you respond to my question and end my torment. I get extremely stressed when I even think about sucking the occasional spider web from the corners of my family room and it's almost that time of year when I need to clean out the dryer vent. I hope you have a way to end my anguish.
 
Sincerely,

Suzanna Kellye