We have known for quite some time that things with Elijah weren't quite right. As my readers know from my blogs, he is a precocious, energetic child. Very intelligent and interested in a lot of things that children his age usually aren't interested in. Most kids like fire trucks. Elijah is interested in how fire trucks are built. A lot of boys are interested in garbage trucks. He takes his interest down to the bare bones...where they are made, the various components of constructing a truck. And has done so since he was about four.
While most kids have temper tantrums, Elijah had serious meltdowns. It was during a regular checkup at the pediatrician's office that a meltdown requiring both Deanna and I to literally hold him, kicking and screaming on our laps, that showed his doctor that he had a problem. She advised us to get him checked by a psychologist, concerned that he had a deeper issue than just fearsome fours. The appointment with the psychologist, in turn, gave us entrance into the scary realm of ADHD. Because he was so young, nothing could be done for him other than behavioral therapy that we had to do at home.
When he started kindergarten, trouble started on day one. He refused to sit. He didn't want to do the work required. He raced around the room. Still, because he was only five, nothing could be done for him medically. We decided to go the holistic route. A friend recommended a product called Focus Attention Powder by Nature's Sunshine. It is full of vitamins and supplements that had an instant positive affect on our boy. So much so that with it, the help of a wonderful kindergarten teacher and kindly advice from our friend (also a teacher) Imagination Mover Scott, he graduated to first grade. Something we feared would not happen.
As Elijah entered first grade last fall, he was doing well for the first few months. Frustration soon set in, though, and he began to fall behind. For such an intelligent boy, this was difficult to watch. Homework time became a serious battle. He voiced his difficulties with violence and hatred toward us, his teacher and fellow classmates. We began our meetings with the teacher, guidance counselor and principal of the school. And we made an appointment with a psychiatrist. All who were very helpful in our quest to help Elijah reach the potential we knew he had.
His school set up remedial classes in math (which he had the most difficulty with) and occupational therapy to assist with his handwriting, which is abysmal. A side note on that: the boy is left handed but, because none of the kids in his kindergarten class wrote with their left hands, he refused to do so. Still does. He eats left handed, throws a ball with his left and catches things the same way. But he will not put a pencil in it to write. So I guess he will have to work a little harder than most if he insists on being a right-hander.
His appointment with the new psychiatrist we found confirmed the ADHD diagnosis. He is now on medication to help him control his impulsiveness and learning issues. It's been quite a ride trying to get the correct dosage for his particular needs. We've finally gotten there. For the moment anyway. This will change as he continues to grow, as most with ADHD children can attest. And we will continue to ride that horse as long as we need to.
Testing also unfortunately revealed that he has a condition called Oppositional Defiant Disorder. ODD for short. Children with this disorder have difficulty regulating their emotions and are highly emotionally reactive to situations. In Elijah's case, he doesn't react well to being disciplined or in any type of negative situation. ODD children also have a lot of trouble handling frustration, which comes out in the form of tantrums or, in his case, extremely ugly behavior. Name calling, authoritative defiance. He also tends to turn it inward in the form of lacking confidence, believing he is stupid and worthless. The only cure for that part is positive reinforcement. And the therapy he begins next week. His new therapist will teach him how to deal with his frustration and anger issues.
And so, we carry on. With the help of the school folks, therapists, friends and neighbors, we will get through all of this. The saying is that it takes a village to raise a child. In Elijah's case, it's going to take a whole city. But we'll do it. With love, patience and a whole lot of faith.
