Sometimes when I think about my life and where I’ve been
(which I try not to do too often because I like to look forward), I wonder
about some of the choices I’ve made and what they mean as far as lessons
learned. How they impact where I’m going in the future. These are some of what
I’ve been taught, by people who mean the world to me.
1. Marriage can be good and if you’re blessed, it can last
forever. While I haven’t been blessed with this, I have proof of it with quite
a few of my friends…Lynn and Bill, Amy and Mike, Neil and Martha Ann, Gina and
John…just to name a few. It takes work. But it doesn’t have to be all work. A
few little things make all the difference in the world. Love, of course, is the
most important thing. There is also mutual respect, a shared faith and
laughter. I think that learning to respect each other’s differences and accept
them is a big key. Spending time apart is almost as important as spending time
together. As my mother would say, you don’t have to be joined at the hip. When
you put all of these things together, it doesn’t…or shouldn’t…seem like work.
It should be growth.
2. Some friendships can last a lifetime, no matter the
distance. And you don’t even have to talk to each other that often. Of course,
social media makes it very easy to keep in touch with the lives of those who
matter to you but I have friends that I haven’t seen much in years that I know I
can call, no matter what the issue, and they would know how to cheer me up or
talk to me like we’ve never been apart…Gina, Christina, Amy, Lynn, Josie and
Cindy…just to name a few. They KNOW me. They know my history and my
personality. I know a lady from college (yes, Leigh Ann, I’m talking about you)
that I hadn’t seen in more than twenty years. We met up again on Facebook
through a mutual friend and there she was all of a sudden at the funeral home
when my Daddy died. What a blessing. And even though the occasion was solemn,
it was like we had never been apart. She was there when I needed her. And
that’s what friendship is all about, isn’t it? Being there for each other? I
need this; I believe that everyone does.
3. Be yourself, no matter what. Whether you are entering
into a relationship with someone…because if you are getting acquainted with a
person, shouldn’t you let them learn the real you? Or interviewing for a job…don’t
be someone you’re not. You won’t be able to keep up the pretense for very long.
Most importantly, you want to show everyone who you really are. What you really
like or dislike. What you care the most about. Isn’t that more important than
impressing people? I think it is. I also don’t think you should have to change
who you are to be in a relationship with someone. They either love you for who
you really are or they don’t love you at all.
4. Sometimes it’s ok to do nothing all day. I am one of
those people who, if I’m not doing anything, I feel lazy. I need to be
contributing to something, even if it’s only organizing a closet or making a
snack. I have never gotten the hang of being a sloth. I grew up on a farm. There
was always something to do and if you couldn’t find something, one of my
parents would find it for us. And what they found would not be much fun. So we
kept ourselves active. Exploring the wooded areas around the property, swinging
on vines. Playing with the pets. Digging mud holes. Yes, the woman I am now
used to make mud pies…I shudder to think of the dirt under my nails. But back
to my point, you can lay around, watching TV or reading a book. Play a game on the
computer. Sit on your porch swing. It’s really ok. With stress levels high in
our lives, we all need to decompress occasionally. I still have to kinda force
myself still to do it… without falling asleep…but I believe it is a necessity
in my busy life. And, of course, if I fall asleep, well a nap is good too. And
we all know how much I love my naps.
I’ve learned more than this of course, but these are the
highlights; the others are not what I really want to share. I hope that I let
them help guide me to where I am going and where I need to be. With these
things and God’s grace, how can I possibly lose?
