When Being a Grownup Sucks - Deb's Version

My daughter is a very positive person...who lets things drag her down from time to time. This blog is her version of our conversation recently about how sometimes it sucks being all grown up. I give you Deb Kellye, my first guest blogger...

Close your eyes.  Do it.  Take two deep breaths.  Picture yourself at 12 years old.  It’s summer.  You’re wearing shorts and a t-shirt.  You look around and you see all of your friends with you.  They’re laughing.  You’re all laughing.  Why?  Because you’re 12 years old and it’s summer.  That’s why.  The only thing you had to worry about was whether or not there was more iced tea in the house and if your sunburn would peel.  What’s that buzzing noise in the background?  It’s getting louder.  Now it’s drowning out all of the laughter around you.  That enigmatic noise is making the world in front of your eyes disappear.

That noise is an alarm clock.  You’re not really 12.  It’s 4:30 a.m. and you have to get up and get ready for work.  You’re an adult.  It was just a dream. Gone are the days when all I had to think about was whether or not to paint my toenails to match my fingernails (Lime green).  Gone are the days when I giggled about my high school crush and whether or not he’d like my new hair cut (He said he did, but I think he was lying.).

Credit scores. Taxes. 401Ks. Company Stock Purchase. Loans.  Insurance.  Resumes and cover letters.  Paying bills.  Savings accounts. Retirement. Children.  Car payments.  These are the things that you have to think about now.  Unless you’re a millionaire and can afford it, most of us don’t have the time to sit and think about iced tea and sun burn.

Now I have responsibilities.  Who has time to be carefree when the world is turning and you’re getting older?  The world is so fast paced when you’re older.  Plus you have to know so much stuff.  It’s exhausting.   Why did I have to sit through Algebra 2 and AP Bio in high school when all of these other things were what I should’ve been taught?  Nowhere in my day-to-day life have I ever used numeric proofs or had to know the exact steps that plants take to go through photosynthesis.  I’m 27 years old now and I have to contemplate paying for “Permanent Dismemberment” on my health insurance.

Now, I buy my own groceries.  Pay for the gas in my car.  Pay for a credit card.  Pay for my rent and utilities.  Pay for car insurance and health insurance and renters insurance and all the insurance for all the stuff all the time.  Grownups don’t even get money in their birthday cards! 

I used to believe that once I was ‘out on my own’ life would be great.  I could do what I want, whenever I wanted.  I could go anywhere.  Be anyone.  While that may still be true, at the same time, it’s not.  I can only do what I want when I have the time.  When I’m not obligated to go to work or an appointment.  I can only go anywhere I want if I have my bills paid for the month and I have enough money to get to put gas in my car.  While I can still be anyone I want to be, right now I have to be someone who is employed with a constant paycheck.  It’s all a constant obligation.

I still have hope though.  I try to look for the little things that keep the child in me alive.  Disney movies. Music from the 90s. I even paint my toenails the same lime green from all those years ago.  

 

Oh, and about the prunes my Mum mentioned.  Grownups have to think about crap like that…

(See what I did there?)

When Being a Grownup Sucks

I had a text conversation with my girlie yesterday. I asked her what she was doing and her response was “Ugh…I’m paying bills and eating prunes. Being a grownup sucks.” After much discussion, we decided that the subject of adult suckatude would make for a great blog post. And no, I didn’t ask why she was eating prunes. Too early in the morning.

Adults have too many responsibilities. Remember the days when you were a kid? Do I hear a collective AHHHHH? Oh, yes. Biggest decision of the morning? What to eat for breakfast and what cartoon to watch while eating said breakfast. Clean up your bedroom or wait until Mom yelled at you for the mess? And in the afternoon? You could ride your bike or take the skateboard. Hang out with Cindy or Lisa. Or both. Yeah, they seemed like a big deal at the time but now? Not so much.

As a grownup, there is a job to go to, bills to pay, kids to take care of, a house to look after, vehicle(s) to maintain. Prunes to eat. What…huh? Endless responsibilities.

Adults don’t get to have enough fun. Not saying that I don’t have fun. But it’s different.  Such weightless possibilities for a child. Movies and playgrounds and bike rides. Going to the zoo or the water park. Running with your friends or swimming.

When we grow up, we get a babysitter, go out to a movie or a bar. A fabulous restaurant (as opposed to the usual McDonald’s run). But in the back of your mind, you’re wondering and worrying about what your kids are up to, whether they miss you or need to tell you something. Even if they’re grown, you’re still worrying. Just about different things.

Relationships with the opposite sex. When you’re a boy and you like a girl, you punch her on the playground. But mostly, you just play together. Share your ice cream and marbles (do kids still play with marbles?). But when you grow up, it becomes a lot more complicated. A. Lot. More.

You have the whole should I or shouldn’t I have sex with him thing. Constantly questioning whether this person is THE ONE. Or in some cases, THE second ONE. Shaving your legs above the knee. Meeting the parents. Or the kids. Just too much responsibility. Do you eat the prunes before or after the date…umm, what?

Going to work. While this is not an issue with me…I love my job… a lot of people hate the routine of getting up and going to work. A career with a multitude of responsibilities. Employees to supervise. Managers to satisfy. Kids? When I ask Elijah what he did all day, most often he says “I played, ate, and then played some more.” What a life. If we do have to go to work, why can’t we have summers off just like the kids do?

Medical issues. Most kids, bless their hearts, are healthy. They get skinned knees or the occasional broken bone but for the most part, it’s smooth sailing. They fall down and bounce right back up. I can’t tell you the last time I bounced.

Now I’m pretty healthy but let’s face it. No matter how you take care of yourself, as you age things just start to go wrong. For one, you have the whole DNA thing going. You know, the conditions your parents are so kind to hand down to you. Arthritis, diabetes, cataracts…and that’s just on my Daddy’s side of the family. Fortunately I didn’t get any of those…yet. Even if you eat right and exercise, don’t drink to excess or smoke, some of these things are gonna get you.

Then there is your past coming to bite you in the butt bringing sore knees, back issues and sagging skin (not a medical problem but still a concern). Things you did when you are younger just reminding you that your body did not appreciate going through the torture that you put it through. In my case, softball and working on the farm. Spending hours in the sun.

Personally, I’m enjoying my life. I have problems like everyone else. Some worse, some not so bad as others. But I enjoy my family and friends. I’ve learned a lot from whatever mistakes I’ve made and have grown from them. Being all grown up is not so bad. It just depends on your attitude and how you face whatever life throws at you. I choose to be positive and live life to the fullest.

Now Deb, my little girl, is going to do her own version of why being a grownup sucks. She’ll be my first guest writer on my blog site. I hope you enjoy what her take is. Write on, girlie. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Of course we have the whole prune issue. Huh…what?