Precious Child

There’s nothing more precious to me than watching a child, especially Elijah, doing something they enjoy. Learning a new skill. Watching nature. Seeing something up close for the first time. Elijah is doing a lot of that lately as we stay with friends in the country.

 Living in the city doesn’t show you much of what nature has to offer. Unless you’re at a park or a zoo. Where we are staying, it is true country. We spent a while yesterday watching a squirrel eating nuts…

                                           

And then we watched a hummingbird eating out of his feeder. The pictures took a while to get since those little suckers fly a million miles an hour.

We have friends who own a horse farm and, being from the city, Elijah has never been close to a real live horse. He’s fascinated. Not only by the animals themselves but also from watching our friend jumping them over standards in shows. Here’s a few shots of him feeding a several of them apples…

                   

Apparently there is always farm stuff to do. He helped rake up the wood chips that go in the horse’s stalls. Just picked up the rake and went to work.

Even at the house we are staying at there is a lot of work to do. And he jumps right in (being the hardworking boy that he is)…

And follows along to learn the ropes…

He rode a tractor a long time ago. I think he was about 18-months-old or thereabouts. I’m sure he has no memory of it so this was pretty dang exciting…

I am so thankful to my friends for allowing him to have this experience that has been so exciting to him. And to me, especially when he asks if he can go outside and I can say “Yes, you can.”

Attention Target Team Members

Since things have gone seriously down hill at Walmart (and we all know it has), I’ve taken a lot of my shopping to Target. The store is so clean and they have some really neat merchandise. They take competitor coupons without the arguing you get at Walmart, I have my 5% off card and there’s just something about that bullseye logo.

But lately I’m thinking that Target “team members” are getting a little cocky in their confidence that they are better than Sam Walton’s group and they are letting some things are slide by. I thought I’d give them a friendly word or two of advice because, well, that’s what I do.

Make yourself visible to the guests (Gotta love it…we are not “customers”, we are “guests”.) so if we need you, we don’t have to go all over the store to find you. If you invited a person to your home (a guest), you wouldn’t disappear once this person was seated on your couch, would you? Don’t hide from us. We really aren’t scary. We just occasionally want to ask questions that only you can answer.

If you are stocking a shelf and a guest wants to peruse said shelf, move out of the way. I promise your boss isn’t going to get angry. Trust me, getting my shampoo and taking a cranky 6-year-old out of the store before he has a meltdown is way more important than having all that mousse out of the box.

Cashiers, SMILE! Be friendly. We all know it’s not an exciting job (been there, done that) but make the most of it. I know you’re tired and your feet hurt. There is not a shoe in the world or a gel insert made that feels good after standing in them eight hours every day, it’s a dead end job and the pay really sucks. But you’d be surprised how much faster your time will go or how rewarding it is if you cheer someone up.

And Associates? If someone leaves a crapload of stuff in their buggy, along with a nearly full cup of Starbucks, they definitely will be coming back for it. Especially the coffee. It’s a potty break or they need something in a different aisle. Do not under any circumstances take that cart and put their things back on the shelves. Or throw away the Starbucks. The merchandise can be replaced. But you never touch a person’s coffee.

Author’s note on this last bit: It was only left alone for ten minutes and I was in the next aisle with my boy looking at TMNT figures. You threw away my stinkin’ latté and are damn lucky I only made you dig my notebook out of the trash. I could have done worse.

And just a side note to those who take care of the courtesy phones and price checkers…they need fixed. It doesn’t matter what store I’m talking about because none of them work. Anywhere. Not that I use them much but I thought I’d let you know.

I still love Target; have done so since my first visit so long ago when I lived in Carrollton Texas. It is one of my favorite places to shop but I’m hoping that my kind ideas will take root and be accepted in the manner to which they are intended (lots of love, Target, lots of love).

Well, that’s it. I’ve given y’all a bit of my (other)worldly advice. You may return to your previously scheduled activities.

When Being a Grownup Sucks - Deb's Version

My daughter is a very positive person...who lets things drag her down from time to time. This blog is her version of our conversation recently about how sometimes it sucks being all grown up. I give you Deb Kellye, my first guest blogger...

Close your eyes.  Do it.  Take two deep breaths.  Picture yourself at 12 years old.  It’s summer.  You’re wearing shorts and a t-shirt.  You look around and you see all of your friends with you.  They’re laughing.  You’re all laughing.  Why?  Because you’re 12 years old and it’s summer.  That’s why.  The only thing you had to worry about was whether or not there was more iced tea in the house and if your sunburn would peel.  What’s that buzzing noise in the background?  It’s getting louder.  Now it’s drowning out all of the laughter around you.  That enigmatic noise is making the world in front of your eyes disappear.

That noise is an alarm clock.  You’re not really 12.  It’s 4:30 a.m. and you have to get up and get ready for work.  You’re an adult.  It was just a dream. Gone are the days when all I had to think about was whether or not to paint my toenails to match my fingernails (Lime green).  Gone are the days when I giggled about my high school crush and whether or not he’d like my new hair cut (He said he did, but I think he was lying.).

Credit scores. Taxes. 401Ks. Company Stock Purchase. Loans.  Insurance.  Resumes and cover letters.  Paying bills.  Savings accounts. Retirement. Children.  Car payments.  These are the things that you have to think about now.  Unless you’re a millionaire and can afford it, most of us don’t have the time to sit and think about iced tea and sun burn.

Now I have responsibilities.  Who has time to be carefree when the world is turning and you’re getting older?  The world is so fast paced when you’re older.  Plus you have to know so much stuff.  It’s exhausting.   Why did I have to sit through Algebra 2 and AP Bio in high school when all of these other things were what I should’ve been taught?  Nowhere in my day-to-day life have I ever used numeric proofs or had to know the exact steps that plants take to go through photosynthesis.  I’m 27 years old now and I have to contemplate paying for “Permanent Dismemberment” on my health insurance.

Now, I buy my own groceries.  Pay for the gas in my car.  Pay for a credit card.  Pay for my rent and utilities.  Pay for car insurance and health insurance and renters insurance and all the insurance for all the stuff all the time.  Grownups don’t even get money in their birthday cards! 

I used to believe that once I was ‘out on my own’ life would be great.  I could do what I want, whenever I wanted.  I could go anywhere.  Be anyone.  While that may still be true, at the same time, it’s not.  I can only do what I want when I have the time.  When I’m not obligated to go to work or an appointment.  I can only go anywhere I want if I have my bills paid for the month and I have enough money to get to put gas in my car.  While I can still be anyone I want to be, right now I have to be someone who is employed with a constant paycheck.  It’s all a constant obligation.

I still have hope though.  I try to look for the little things that keep the child in me alive.  Disney movies. Music from the 90s. I even paint my toenails the same lime green from all those years ago.  

 

Oh, and about the prunes my Mum mentioned.  Grownups have to think about crap like that…

(See what I did there?)

When Being a Grownup Sucks

I had a text conversation with my girlie yesterday. I asked her what she was doing and her response was “Ugh…I’m paying bills and eating prunes. Being a grownup sucks.” After much discussion, we decided that the subject of adult suckatude would make for a great blog post. And no, I didn’t ask why she was eating prunes. Too early in the morning.

Adults have too many responsibilities. Remember the days when you were a kid? Do I hear a collective AHHHHH? Oh, yes. Biggest decision of the morning? What to eat for breakfast and what cartoon to watch while eating said breakfast. Clean up your bedroom or wait until Mom yelled at you for the mess? And in the afternoon? You could ride your bike or take the skateboard. Hang out with Cindy or Lisa. Or both. Yeah, they seemed like a big deal at the time but now? Not so much.

As a grownup, there is a job to go to, bills to pay, kids to take care of, a house to look after, vehicle(s) to maintain. Prunes to eat. What…huh? Endless responsibilities.

Adults don’t get to have enough fun. Not saying that I don’t have fun. But it’s different.  Such weightless possibilities for a child. Movies and playgrounds and bike rides. Going to the zoo or the water park. Running with your friends or swimming.

When we grow up, we get a babysitter, go out to a movie or a bar. A fabulous restaurant (as opposed to the usual McDonald’s run). But in the back of your mind, you’re wondering and worrying about what your kids are up to, whether they miss you or need to tell you something. Even if they’re grown, you’re still worrying. Just about different things.

Relationships with the opposite sex. When you’re a boy and you like a girl, you punch her on the playground. But mostly, you just play together. Share your ice cream and marbles (do kids still play with marbles?). But when you grow up, it becomes a lot more complicated. A. Lot. More.

You have the whole should I or shouldn’t I have sex with him thing. Constantly questioning whether this person is THE ONE. Or in some cases, THE second ONE. Shaving your legs above the knee. Meeting the parents. Or the kids. Just too much responsibility. Do you eat the prunes before or after the date…umm, what?

Going to work. While this is not an issue with me…I love my job… a lot of people hate the routine of getting up and going to work. A career with a multitude of responsibilities. Employees to supervise. Managers to satisfy. Kids? When I ask Elijah what he did all day, most often he says “I played, ate, and then played some more.” What a life. If we do have to go to work, why can’t we have summers off just like the kids do?

Medical issues. Most kids, bless their hearts, are healthy. They get skinned knees or the occasional broken bone but for the most part, it’s smooth sailing. They fall down and bounce right back up. I can’t tell you the last time I bounced.

Now I’m pretty healthy but let’s face it. No matter how you take care of yourself, as you age things just start to go wrong. For one, you have the whole DNA thing going. You know, the conditions your parents are so kind to hand down to you. Arthritis, diabetes, cataracts…and that’s just on my Daddy’s side of the family. Fortunately I didn’t get any of those…yet. Even if you eat right and exercise, don’t drink to excess or smoke, some of these things are gonna get you.

Then there is your past coming to bite you in the butt bringing sore knees, back issues and sagging skin (not a medical problem but still a concern). Things you did when you are younger just reminding you that your body did not appreciate going through the torture that you put it through. In my case, softball and working on the farm. Spending hours in the sun.

Personally, I’m enjoying my life. I have problems like everyone else. Some worse, some not so bad as others. But I enjoy my family and friends. I’ve learned a lot from whatever mistakes I’ve made and have grown from them. Being all grown up is not so bad. It just depends on your attitude and how you face whatever life throws at you. I choose to be positive and live life to the fullest.

Now Deb, my little girl, is going to do her own version of why being a grownup sucks. She’ll be my first guest writer on my blog site. I hope you enjoy what her take is. Write on, girlie. I can’t wait to see what you come up with.

Of course we have the whole prune issue. Huh…what?

Hello, Samsung? An Update…

I’ve been going to write this for several months but kept putting it off because of other awesome ideas that popped into my head. What other ideas, you ask? Read my blogs. Ok, maybe not so great but they were crowding my thinking process and needed to be set free. Digressing here…

If you read below, you will find my original blog that details the troubles I had with my Samsung dryer and how I was treated by customer service when I called for help. Well, it’s been quite a while since posting my original blog and I thought I’d give you an update on the assistance…or lack thereof…I received from Samsung.

Basically, after months of trying to get someone at Samsung to listen to me, I gave up. But I took some business of theirs with me when I did so. Quite a few people I heard from online were shopping for either a washer or dryer and decided not to purchase a Samsung after reading my blog, not only because of what happened to my dryer but because I was shown such disrespect by customer service, along with their lack of concern and refusal to investigate my problem.

Not only did I reach people via my blog, but also in person as I made the rounds at the local appliance sales type places in search of a new…and more reliable…dryer unit. Every time I saw a person considering a Samsung washer or dryer, I related my story to them. And gained a few new readers as well. Most of them changed their mind about what brand to buy and thanked me for my input.

As for me, I made a purchase. A Maytag Duet (Can it be called a duet when I only bought the dryer or does the washer have to be included I wonder?) and I’m so totally satisfied with my choice. It not only was on sale for much less than the Samsung brand but has a better warranty and, amazingly enough, the customer service representative that I spoke to when I called with a question was not only helpful, he treated me with the respect I was due as a Maytag customer.

So my advice to the Samsung Powers-That-Be would be to remember who pays your light bill. Train your people to be a little more courteous and a lot less high and mighty. I may not have bankrupted your company but I took a little bit out of your wallet. A lot more than you would have spent fixing my dryer.

Original Blog Posted 9/30/14…

When we moved to Louisiana in 2011, my daughter, grandson and I basically came with nothing more than our personal belongings. We filled up my Honda CRV, leaving a small nook in the back for the boy, and what didn't fit, didn't come. No furniture, no television and no washer or dryer. We rented an apartment two weeks after arriving but it looked really empty due to our trip with next to nothing. So we went shopping.

One of the first things I looked into purchasing was a washer and dryer. With a 2-year-old that needed his clothes changed twenty times a day, it was a must.  I picked a great time to buy them as it was right after Thanksgiving. Christmas saving doesn't always have to include toys and clothes and Lowe’s had a great deal on a Samsung set…front loader washer and dryer, $1,200 for the pair.  I researched and found excellent reviews on the brand. I bought them thinking I wouldn't have to replace them for at least ten to fifteen years. They were here and installed within a week.

Fast forward to July 2014. I’m drying a load of clothes in my Samsung DV350AEW/XXA (I’m giving you the model number in case you own one of these babies and want to keep an eye out for what happened to me). After about twenty minutes, the dryer stopped. No warning. Not a sound. It just quit. I’m thinking that maybe a breaker tripped. Yeah, I’m not an electrician but what else could have happened? Well, look at the picture below and you will see exactly what made my dryer stop.

                

Imagine my shock when I opened it up, removed my clothes and saw this. A crack. In my drum. I’m not even going to mention the clothes that were ruined because they were stuck inside the crack (the black marks below the crack are the result of those clothes).

Now I want to first point out that only myself and my daughter have ever used this dryer. We wash our clothes and the boy’s. No uniforms, heavy items, shoes or the like have ever seen the inside of this thing. I work in an office so my things are basic office wear. Small child things. My girlie's workout gear. Just normal clothes. It was not abused in any way, shape or form.

I immediately went to the Samsung website to find out who to contact about this thing and there’s really no information. To get a phone number to call, you need to fill out a “Two Thousand” transaction so that those in charge can figure out (I’m guessing here) if your problem warrants their attention. I did this, got a ticket number (I’m figuring I was deemed worthy of such an honor) and the golden phone number I was seeking. Good deal, I thought, as I dialed the phone. I’m in like Flynn…whoever he is.

My optimism came too quickly as I had approximately two billion callers ahead of me. I put in my blue tooth and took a walk while listening to the same strange ditty over and over. Walked about six miles, came home and made lunch, same ditty is playing. Ate said lunch and did the dishes, same ditty. Took a nap, knitted an afghan…ok, so not really but you get the point.

Finally my call was answered…by someone who spoke very little English. What he said to me, I will most likely never know. I’m sure he was a very nice man but after being on hold for what seemed like a week, my level of frustration rose with every passing minute. My end of the conversation consisted of “Excuse me?” and “I’m sorry?”(repeated ad nauseam) and finally with gritted teeth, “Can you please put someone else on the line? I can’t understand you.” And, oh pennies from heaven, I was transferred!!!

My jubilation came too quickly. He transferred me to Tai (ID #86092), a very competent, pleasant sort. Or so I thought. Oh, she was pleasant but the kind of pleasant that made you want to pull your eyes out through your ears. The kind that tells you she thinks she is superior and you are an idiot. She was “reasonable”. She was an Executive Level Agent. With attitude. The following is the result of my conversation with the executive level of Samsung service:

-My dryer was out of warranty. Duh, I knew that but circumstances, I believed, warranted a second look at this issue. A not quite three-year-old appliance with such a major failure? Could it possibly be a factory defect?

-It was not a factory defect. Because, says Ms. Executive Level Agent, there has never been a report of it happening before. My response? There has to be a first time. Perhaps mine was it? She pooh-poohed that idea out the window. Apparently first times never happen.

-The “Executive Level Agent” in charge of parts was consulted to see if they could, at the very least, provide replacement parts for free. His decision? Oh. Hell. No. My response? Unprintable. Actually, I said nothing to this because by this time, I expected nothing, but the response in my head was definitely unprintable.

-Most Samsung appliances have a life expectancy of approximately ten to twelve years. Your comment makes no sense, I say. Ten years but mine didn't even last three? And who wrote the good reviews of the product that I read when I was considering my purchase, Samsung ad execs? Well maybe I should have purchased a Maytag. The Maytag washer/dryer set that I left with my ex was almost fifteen years old and still going strong. Tai, ID #86092, had no answers to my questions.

-The Executive Level is the highest level I could go for help with Samsung. There was no one else to take my complaint to. Oh, that is where she was so wrong. So very wrong. I’m a blogger. I’m active in social networking. I may not reach too many people but I will reach some. Maybe no one at Samsung will listen but I have others who will. They can’t help me but they will shake their heads in disbelief at the callousness of those who are to be obeyed at Samsung. They will there there me with sympathy. It won’t dry my clothes but I’ll feel a little better.

Anyway, the end result? I got nothing. My gently-used, almost new dryer is not fixed. I am taking my clothes to the laundry to dry them.  I was pleasant and respectful, at least until her pompous attitude made me feel like a lower class citizen and a fool. Someone trying to cheat Samsung into fixing my dryer for nothing. Listen, I’m not trying to get something I don’t deserve. I paid a lot of money for an appliance that did not operate as it should have, for as long as it should have. I honestly feel that my dryer had a factory defect and to that end, I contacted them. I've spent a lot of my time since my phone call doing more research but have come up with nothing that will help me. But at least I tried.

My next step, after posting my blog, is to take my worthless, broken, piece-of-crap Samsung dryer out to the trash with a huge sign that says “THIS PRODUCT SUCKS & I DON’T WANT IT ANYMORE!” After doing so, I will make tee shirts for all my friends, neighbors and co-workers that say “Samsung Service = Not”…

Things To Do When The Boss Is Gone For Office Personnel

You know we all do it. The boss takes a vacation or develops typhoid and needs a week off and we don’t show up for work. At least not mentally. We may be sitting at our desks, but we’re definitely not “there”. What has to be done is done but, unless it is critical in nature, the rest falls by the wayside. Just for a day or two. Or five. And since this is something most will do, I thought I’d give you some ideas…

You can play games. On the computer or your phone, doesn’t matter. Card games, poker, popping bubbles. It’s easy to find one to peak your interest since they are everywhere. And they’re free!!!

You can surf the internet. Always something to look for on there. New thoughts for decorating your sunporch or stalk your old boyfriend. Dinner ideas. Ways to keep your toddler from driving you nuts. It’s all available for the asking.

Watch a movie. Bring in a DVD (or a Blu Ray Disc, if you’re lucky enough to have an employer that buys only the best). Because who has the opportunity to watch a good movie any other time? Too much to do at home. Children to take care of, house to clean, dinner to make.

You can sleep. Yeah, get caught up on your rest when the kids keep you up late. Or when Jimmy had someone fascinating on the night before that you just couldn’t miss.

Talk on the phone. To someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Actually being able to do it without having a child rattling on in the background is just a bonus. And if they’re boss is out at the same time, you can have a long conversation.

You can doodle. Just grab a stack of printer paper and your favorite pen. I’m a big doodler. I get a lot of phone calls where people on the other line drone on and on. And on. About basically nothing. So I fill my notebook with silly little pictures. It’s actually quite relaxing.

You can have gab sessions. Umhmm,  sit and talk to your co-workers about issues at work or at home. Complain about the boss, the schedule or the job itself. Your kids are a great topic of discussion as well. I actually used to have one on a daily basis at one of my last companies. I was an early bird and so was a lady I worked with. We sat most mornings (when the boss didn’t come in early) and had coffee, cookies and a very heartwarming discussion about whatever was on our minds. Some of the best days started off with this.

If you’re a blogger, write away. Put your headphones on, turn up your IPod and let the ideas just filter in. Jot them down and post away. Because if you’re like me, when you sit down to blog on purpose, your mind is a wasteland. But if you do it when you aren’t supposed to be doing it, the words will just flow from your imagination to your fingertips to the keyboard. NOTE: I know that a lot of you think my mind is a wasteland anyway but please be kind.

A ninety minute lunch? Sure, why not? Sometimes you just need to eat a little slower and digest. A lot easier on your system than the typical 30 to 45 minute grab and run.

You can … amazingly enough … do your job. I’m one of those who feels guilty if my work falls behind and since our department is one of the busiest, it’s a real possibility that could happen if I took a minute off. So I work. And so should everyone.

Honestly, I’m not one to skip on my work. Well maybe a little bit longer for lunch but since my boss is rarely, if ever, gone…I miss out on the opportunity to be naughty. The guilt would drive me crazy anyway.

Author’s note: The information contained herein are suggestions, not advice, and may actually result in job loss. Contact your Human Resources professional for further information.

What I Wish For Them - Elijah

In case you missed the first two (Go back and read them if you missed them!), I’m writing a series of blogs about what I would wish for my kids that money can’t buy. Even if you want them to have everything their heart desires, it is impractical and nearly impossible to get that for them. Along with being just a really bad idea. Last in my three-parter is what I wish for my grandson, Elijah. It’s so hard to figure this one out because the little dude is so out-there. The ones for Deanna and Deb are kind of tongue-in-cheek but Elijah’s is a bit more serious. He’s outrageous, mischievous and bold. He’s also sensitive, loving and kind. And interested in EVERYTHING. Read on to see what I’ve come up with.

An endless supply of Pepperoni Pizza. Elijah sure does love his slices. Pepperoni only. When we’re having a bad day or he just isn’t in the mood for food…not a good thing at this age cause a growing boy gotta eat…pizza is the answer. What kind of TMNT would he be if it wasn’t? He prefers Pizza Hut but will settle for frozen from Walmart. Stuffed crust is his favorite but he’ll take regular. Thick or thin is not even an issue. He likes both. So my wish here is that he has all the pizza, all the time. Day or night. Maybe we can find a way to hide a few vegetables in there while we’re at it.

The ability to always see things with the same excitement and joy that he does now. He sees a garbage truck and he has the same reaction as the first time he saw one. Fascination. He goes to a new fire station and it’s like he’s never been to one before. He finds a penny from Heaven (what we call pennies on the ground) and he’s thrilled. Even if he’s found ten of them already that day. A dandelion or clover flower for his mom brings the same joy as it always has. My wish is that he never lose this virtue that so totally defines him.

To always be interested in the unique, off the wall things he is now. What kid in Kindergarten says his favorite subject is science or social studies? I’m thinking not too many. But Elijah does. All boys at his age like to see snakes and dinosaurs but how many want to know what their bones look like on the inside? Most boys think gators, whales and sharks are the coolest but how many want to know how and where they swim or how long they live? How many want to know how many different types of animal species live in the Amazon Rain Forest? Yeah, he’s a nerd. A really cool nerd but a nerd all the same. My wish is that it never changes because it is so uniquely Elijah.

The ability to show love to his family. No matter who is watching. When I drop him off at before care, he gives me hugs and kisses in front of a bunch of “cool” guys in 2^nd and 3^rd grade (I think these are the ones who taught him really neat cuss words but I’m not sure). When he’s out playing with his friends, he’ll stop what he is doing and run over to give us love. He shouts out “I love you” to us in a grocery store or at the park while playing. I think because we aren’t shy about showing affection, Elijah isn’t either. I wish, I wish, I wish for him to never lose this capacity to be open and caring.

So now you have it. May my wishes come true. But if not, may you all get a chuckle about what I’ve written. And maybe just an idea about what you would wish for your own little…and not-so-little…ones.

If wishes were fishes, we’d all cast our nets….Frank Herbert

What I Wish For Them - Deb

This is segment two in a three part blog naming what I wish for my babies that can’t be bought with money. My younger daughter, Deb, is a complicated girl and coming up with ideas for her list was a little tougher than for her sister. Of course, I don’t live with her so I can be forgiven for that. As I said in my first blog about Deanna, many things that you wish for your children can’t be purchased and, when they are all grown up, most of us couldn’t afford it anyway. Here are my ideas for Deb.

Journals for life. Deb has an obsession with journals. To me, they are fancy notebooks and when I feel the need to write, I use a plain $.99 spiral from Walmart. Not this girl. She writes a lot (I wonder where she gets that trait from?) but she needs a pretty book to do it in. Any time she sees one in a store, she wants it. So one of my wishes for her would be an unlimited supply that would just show up like magic on her nightstand. Journals with pretty pictures on the front, of all shapes and sizes.

Pens to go with the journals. Not just any kind of pen will do for Deb though. They have to glide like magic over the pages of her journals. Plain old Bics are not an option for this girl. No, we’re looking at a Uni-Ball Impact 207 or a Sharpie Fine Point or something of equal quality. Color doesn’t matter. It’s all about the glide…

Free monthly shopping trips to specialty food stores. She’s a cook and when she cooks, she likes to make food from different countries. Ingredients for meals like that are outrageously expensive. In order to keep both her creative side and her man’s stomach happy, a shopping spree is exactly what she needs. Come to think of it, I may as well add in a free trip to a kitchen store as well because if the ingredients are expensive, the cookware to make it is even more so and there is always something new for her to try that needs a unique, pricy gadget to create it.

A gum gum tree in her back yard. No, this isn’t a new variety of plant life; Deb likes bubble gum. So much so that it’s amazing that she has such beautiful teeth. And to keep her in gum gum is very expensive so I’m wishing for her a tree with an endless supply of gum and no end to it’s growing season. We need to make it a pretty tree and the fruit (gum) has to come in different, yummy flavors.

Right next to the gum gum tree is a tea tree. Earl Grey specifically.  Girlie drinks her tea like most drink coffee. Can’t leave home without it. Doesn’t speak in the morning until she has it…not anything civil -like anyway. Again, has to be pretty and no end to it’s blooming. Because Deb without her tea (with a spot of milk) is not someone you want behind the wheel of a car. Or anywhere else for that matter.

These are my wishes for Deb. Stay tuned for Elijah’s … it’s coming up next.

What I Wish For Them - Deanna

I’m starting out with my eldest, Deanna. Most people realize that they can’t give their children everything. Even if you had the money, you couldn’t do it because as we all know, the best things…the most important…can’t be bought. Since I don’t have the money anyway, I’ve made a wish list of things that can’t be bought that I want my children to have. Here is my list for Deanna.

A yarn fairy. Deanna is a yarn-a-holic…if she has an extra dollar, she’s going to spend it on yarn. I’m glad she does because she makes beautiful things with her oh-so-clever fingers, as those who have benefited from her talent can attest. She has knitting needles, crochet hooks and looms. All she needs to create those lovely items is yarn. So the yarn fairy that I wish for her would bring her a multitude of skeins in all the colors of the rainbow and more. Yes, she definitely needs one of these.

An endless supply of hot water. If you are well acquainted with Deanna, you also know that she loves to take long, luxurious showers. And if you are the one in the shower after her, you’re definitely taking a cold one. I have always called her my water baby because from the beginning, she has been obsessed with it. Why it takes so long to get that little body clean is beyond my understanding but the endless supply that I wish for her would ensure that she never has to limit her time.

An alarm clock that never rings. And has no need to. So that Deanna can revel in one of her other great loves…sleeping late. Of course, along with this she would need her child to cooperate but that’s a different story. I remember the girl who never slept past 6:00 a.m. when she was a child. I could put her to bed at three in the morning and she would still wake up early. Ready to go. Before I had my coffee. Now she can sloth with the best of ‘em.  So the alarm clock would never ring and Deanna could sleep to her heart’s content…until she had to pee anyway.

99% off of everything in Hobby Lobby. Cause Deanna loves Hobby Lobby and everything in it. They sell whatever a crafty person could ever need, including knitting needles of all sizes, crochet hooks large and small, looms of every shape and size…and yarn. But of course, she won’t need the yarn because she has a fairy to provide that.

A cleaning genie. Because Deanna hates to clean. This genie would wash dishes, scrub bathrooms, vacuum and…most importantly…follow along behind Elijah to pick up what he’s laying down, which is basically everything he owns. Genie would also go through the clutter that Deanna collects (she is a Packrat with a capital P) and disposed of anything that causes my body to twitch. That is pretty much everything she has laying on the floor of her bedroom. I can’t go in there; it makes me break out in a rash and have nightmares. Her room would be tidy and neat; something that it hasn’t been since she graduated from a crib to a big girl bed.

And that is what I wish for Deanna. Keep popping in to see what I think Deb and Elijah should have.

Me in Five Words and Why

I’ve been challenged to describe myself in five words and then tell why I picked those words out of all the many that exist in the universe. Well, seeing as being I’m not really good at talking about myself except in stories, this proved to be a difficult task. But I persevered and here’s what I came up with…

Silly. I can be extremely silly. Because I like to have fun. And I enjoy making people laugh at my silliness. And I especially enjoy dropping down to Elijah’s level and playing at being silly. After that, it just seems to seep into other parts of my life.

Unfiltered. I have no filter. If I think something, I’m gonna say it. Not to offend or hurt anybody. Just because I kept my mouth shut for too long about too many things. And now I don’t have to. So I won’t.

Emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat…figuratively, I mean. I laugh just as much. I love big. Really big. I show everything openly and hope I can teach Elijah to do the same, just as I taught my girls. Because hiding your emotions is not only bad for your health, it’s painful. And unnecessary.

Talkative. This is something I guess I really don’t need to expand upon. Anyone who has met me, even for like three seconds, knows that I never quit talking. I talk to anyone. And any thing. My neighbors think it’s hilarious that I talk to the cats when I sit on my patio. Or a bug when it’s bothering me. If I’m on the phone with my daughter and she’s checking out at the store, I tell her to say hi to the cashier for me. I just enjoy talking.

Attitude. It’s a noun, not an adjective but if you know me, you know it fits. I have an attitude and I’m glad I do. It keeps people from taking advantage. It protects me from those who would try.

And now you know, if you didn’t already, who I am. In five words. And why.

Now that I have completed my challenge, I am to extend it to someone else. So I’m taking it to Tammie Sue Brown over at thegrayingchronicles.wordpress.com (By the way, if you’ve never read her stuff, you really should). Go, little sister. It’s your turn. And don’t forget to pass it on.

Why Parenting a Young Child At My Age Is Not a Good Idea

As you all know, my daughter and her six-year-old son, Elijah, live with me. If you don’t know, then you don’t read many of my blogs and you should be. With my daughter’s new work schedule, I am taking an even more active role in Elijah’s day-to-day care. Getting him ready for bed. Getting him ready for school and all that entails. Driving him to before care. Taking care of him on the weekends. It’s a huge adjustment and I’ve realized now why God in his infinite wisdom decided to cut off childbearing for women at a certain age.

Number one is lack of patience. As you get older you are supposed to gain it but when dealing with a child, especially this one, I’ve learned that I have less than I had when my own kids were his age. Probably because he is a boy and another part because he is a little more…or a lot more…to handle than they were. Into EVERYTHING. Curious about EVERYTHING. Wanting EVERYTHING. I’m exhausted beyond belief at the end of the day.

Of course there is a lack of energy. Because see paragraph above.

Number three would be lack of free time. I’m used to picking up and going wherever, whenever. Now I have to make sure Elijah is wearing clean clothes, doesn’t have snot or something equally gross on his face and goes pee before we get out the door. Oh, and everywhere we go, he has to be wearing something weird. A ninja mask. A sword or two tucked into the back of his shirt. A turtle shell with a strange hat or shoes. And God forbid if he should happen to leave something behind. That is EPIC. When we arrive at wherever, whenever, I have to get him out of the car. Now with normal kids, this isn’t a problem. You open the back door, unbuckle the child and get to where you want to be. With him, you have to argue about why swords/guns/toys have to stay in the car. “Because weapons are not allowed in public places.” or “They’ll think you stole that power ranger if you take it in the store”. Or “BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!!” Which is usually how it ends up.

Next would be a lack of ideas. Because Elijah is so gosh darn precocious, it takes a lot of activities to keep him occupied and out of trouble. He’s always bored (insert annoying, whiny voice here). And when he’s bored, he gets into a lot of trouble. You can read previous blogs to see the numerous ways he gets himself in hot water. So I need to come up with good ideas to stimulate his already overactive brain. Especially with the cold winter we just had and the so-far rainy spring. As a for instance, this past weekend, it was raining. What to do, what to do? One of the ideas was travel. Not outside. In his bedroom. We sat on his bed, pulled the blankets over our faces, “blasted off” (there was a lot of boy spit involved in this) and landed in another location. We went to a farm, the Amazon Rain Forest and to the moon, among other equally fabulous places. Then we described what we were “seeing.” Fun. And imaginative, if I do say so myself. Well done, Yaya.

 Then we played hide and seek. With a conversation that went like this:

Elijah: “I’m hiding, Yaya. You need to find me.”

Me: “Ok.” Not moving from my spot lying on the floor. Due to aforementioned lack of energy.

Elijah: “Are you looking for me?”

Me: “Yup.” Still not moving.

Elijah: “Um, you actually have to get up to look for me.”

Me: “Mmmhmm. Looking.”

Elijah: Gets up and tells me with a loud laugh…”I was under my covers the whole time!!!”

Me: “I know. I saw you hide there. If you want to really hide, you can’t let the other person see where you go.”

Elijah: “Oh.”

Fortunately, I am blessed with the talent to do two things at once, like nap and play games simultaneously.

My other activity ideas include going to Toy’s R Us, which he thinks is so cool. It’s like going to visit a friend who has pretty much every single toy in the world. One weekend we spent at the local swamp doing a tour, which was the “absolute coolest.” Snakes and junk. Next weekend is the annual visit to the zoo. I’m really beginning to hate the zoo but it keeps him amused so who’s to argue. At this point, I’ll do anything legal. Because you can only watch so much television.

Ah, then there is a lack of sleep. The boy NEVER sleeps through the night. In fact, when he does, I give him a treat. Or a dollar. Hey, I’m not above bribing the child so I can get some rest. But he either has to pee (must have the smallest bladder in the history of six-year-olds), has a bad dream or is cold. Or he just had a thought that I needed to hear immediately. I mean like right now. At 3:00 a.m.

Lastly, there is a lack of blog time. But then again, with him, I have an unlimited amount of things to blog about so I guess there is a payoff. When I get the time. I have a lot of sticky notes with ideas written down. Maybe someday…

So that’s why I quit having babies after I hit twenty-five. I’m sure my daughters are relieved. But not as much as I am. Because this is harder than you think.

Today is 17 Years

Seventeen years ago, God took him home. A father and mother lost a son. Three kids lost a brother. Grandparents a grandchild. Our lives were forever changed.

Connor was only meant to be here for four and a half short years. But he made a difference in those years. He changed hearts. He loved his family. He brought joy.

I always think about what he’d be like today. What he would look like at almost 22. What career path he would have chosen. At four, he wanted to be just like Michael Jordan. If he had grown up, who knows?

When I think about him, I miss him. But then, I realize how much he has gained. He is with Jesus. And I just smile.

Thanks, little guy, for the memories and the love.

What I’ve Learned…Now That I’ve Thought About It

Sometimes when I think about my life and where I’ve been (which I try not to do too often because I like to look forward), I wonder about some of the choices I’ve made and what they mean as far as lessons learned. How they impact where I’m going in the future. These are some of what I’ve been taught, by people who mean the world to me.

1. Marriage can be good and if you’re blessed, it can last forever. While I haven’t been blessed with this, I have proof of it with quite a few of my friends…Lynn and Bill, Amy and Mike, Neil and Martha Ann, Gina and John…just to name a few. It takes work. But it doesn’t have to be all work. A few little things make all the difference in the world. Love, of course, is the most important thing. There is also mutual respect, a shared faith and laughter. I think that learning to respect each other’s differences and accept them is a big key. Spending time apart is almost as important as spending time together. As my mother would say, you don’t have to be joined at the hip. When you put all of these things together, it doesn’t…or shouldn’t…seem like work. It should be growth.

2. Some friendships can last a lifetime, no matter the distance. And you don’t even have to talk to each other that often. Of course, social media makes it very easy to keep in touch with the lives of those who matter to you but I have friends that I haven’t seen much in years that I know I can call, no matter what the issue, and they would know how to cheer me up or talk to me like we’ve never been apart…Gina, Christina, Amy, Lynn, Josie and Cindy…just to name a few. They KNOW me. They know my history and my personality. I know a lady from college (yes, Leigh Ann, I’m talking about you) that I hadn’t seen in more than twenty years. We met up again on Facebook through a mutual friend and there she was all of a sudden at the funeral home when my Daddy died. What a blessing. And even though the occasion was solemn, it was like we had never been apart. She was there when I needed her. And that’s what friendship is all about, isn’t it? Being there for each other? I need this; I believe that everyone does.

3. Be yourself, no matter what. Whether you are entering into a relationship with someone…because if you are getting acquainted with a person, shouldn’t you let them learn the real you? Or interviewing for a job…don’t be someone you’re not. You won’t be able to keep up the pretense for very long. Most importantly, you want to show everyone who you really are. What you really like or dislike. What you care the most about. Isn’t that more important than impressing people? I think it is. I also don’t think you should have to change who you are to be in a relationship with someone. They either love you for who you really are or they don’t love you at all.

4. Sometimes it’s ok to do nothing all day. I am one of those people who, if I’m not doing anything, I feel lazy. I need to be contributing to something, even if it’s only organizing a closet or making a snack. I have never gotten the hang of being a sloth. I grew up on a farm. There was always something to do and if you couldn’t find something, one of my parents would find it for us. And what they found would not be much fun. So we kept ourselves active. Exploring the wooded areas around the property, swinging on vines. Playing with the pets. Digging mud holes. Yes, the woman I am now used to make mud pies…I shudder to think of the dirt under my nails. But back to my point, you can lay around, watching TV or reading a book. Play a game on the computer. Sit on your porch swing. It’s really ok. With stress levels high in our lives, we all need to decompress occasionally. I still have to kinda force myself still to do it… without falling asleep…but I believe it is a necessity in my busy life. And, of course, if I fall asleep, well a nap is good too. And we all know how much I love my naps.

I’ve learned more than this of course, but these are the highlights; the others are not what I really want to share. I hope that I let them help guide me to where I am going and where I need to be. With these things and God’s grace, how can I possibly lose?

What's Left In Your Suitcase?

I recently read an article about an asylum in New York where, in 1995, they found luggage dated from the 1800’s (If you want to read the article, go here http://www.wimp.com/suitcasefound/. It’s pretty cool.). Anyway, the story talks about the really interesting stuff they found in these suitcases that were left at the asylum by the inmates who had passed away there. Interesting as in strange. There was a clock, shoe polish, clothes, photos (of course) and a broom (?), among other things. Yes, you absolutely need to read it.

So it got me to thinking…as things of this matter always do…what I would leave in a suitcase for people to find a hundred or more years later? This is pretty much what I came up with. Just off the top of my pointed head.

First, I would leave my Bible. Because one, I write a lot of personal thoughts in there. Not always something that anyone would understand, except maybe my kids, but I can imagine a stranger in the future thinking “Was this lady nuts?” Of course, the answer would be “no but she was a little ‘different’”. And two, because they will need to read it because it’s important.

Family photos because what’s a time capsule-ish leftover without a few pictures. Then the futuristic ones can laugh at the style of our clothes and hair. And remark on how exceptionally beautiful my family was. Not me, of course. I have no illusions about beauty (mine is inner). But my babies are just gorgeous.

One of my favorite books. I haven’t decided which one yet but it has to be, I think, something that has no historical meaning whatsoever. Because basically, too much history is boring. I’m thinking a fluff novel or something like that. One that makes these people ask “What’s a cell phone?” or “Cars moved on land?” or “They actually gave birth to their children?” Or…”What the hell is a throbbing manhood anyway?”

I was considering a computer, laptop type, but they would probably laugh at how prehistoric our technology was. I mean, they are most likely going to be flying around sort of George Jetson-like, being beamed up like Scotty. Their computers are going to be so over the top that Cox Bundle is going to look like the stone age. I wonder if they are going to call this century the stone age? We call it digital but we are so backward compared to what they have, right?

How about a paycheck? Oh, hell no. I don’t mind them thinking I’m crazy but to have them know how little I earned is not going to happen. Then they’ll be thinking “She was not only nuts but she was stupid too. Look at how small her earning potential was.”

My curling iron, flatiron, hair dryer and hot rollers. Just because. By then they won’t be operational anyway. Give those new age people something to scratch their heads about. “She was into torture?”

Well, that’s pretty much what I’ve come up with. By now you are shaking your head and wondering if perhaps I should stop reading articles that give me ideas. But I won’t. And sooner or later (and I’m sure it’ll be sooner), I’m going to come up with another blog about some inane idea that will have you shaking your head. But before I do, I will ask you this … what would you leave behind? What would your suitcase hold?

What Are You Thankful For?

I recently read a book by Max Lucado called Before Amen (Good book, you should read it). In one chapter, he listed things he was thankful for by the alphabet, which I thought was a really cool idea. So I decided to make up one of my own. It took me a long time because it’s not something that just comes to your head…at least not to mine. I did a lot of thinking and here is what I came up with.

A: Animals. We’ve had cats, dogs, bunnies and guinea pigs as pets. I’ve watched deer and turkey in my yard and birds in the sky. Chased cows, pigs and chickens. Doesn’t matter. They are all beautiful. Except for vultures. Nasty looking things.

B: My Bible. The answer is always in there and no matter how many times I read it, I learn something new. When I was growing up, it was sacred…as it should be. You kept it pristine, which is not necessary, as I now know. The one I use? There are so many notes written in the margins to remind me of where I was when I read that part or things that I didn’t understand and looked up. It’s a Max Lucado Bible, ironically enough.

C: Cats. Specifically the strays that come to my door every day begging for food. In the last three years, they have gone from running when they saw me to rubbing against me and asking to be petted. They show me a lot of love and make me miss my pets from my former life a lot less. And chocolate. Because what would the world be without it?

D: Daughters. Mine. Deanna and Deb. Two of the three loves of my life. They make me proud. They make me laugh, they make me cry. They make me angry and frustrate the hell out of me. But most of all, they make me feel loved and like I did something extremely right in my life.

E: Elijah. The interruption in my sleep. The mess in my house. The stain on my carpet. The ache in my bones (after football or wrestling or ninja battles). But mostly? The third love of my life. He’s smart. He’s funny. He’s interesting. He’s just the best.

F: My faith. Necessary for all things in life. And forgiveness, both giving and getting.  And fruit. And fun.

G: God. What can I say? Without Him, I would have nothing, be nothing.

H: Happiness. I have it now and I’m so thankful for it.

I: Imagination. I was blessed with a great one. It’s kinda wacky. A little out there. I love using it.

J: Jesus. The greatest gift anyone could ever receive. Who else would make such a sacrifice?

K: Knowledge. I’m not the smartest crayon in the box but I have some knowledge to pass on to my kids. Keyboard is another one. My musical one, so I can play the music I love and my laptop one so I can communicate with my friends and family. And also write the silliness that keeps popping up in my head.

L: Love from my family and laughter. Mostly when the two go together. We have an ample supply of both in our house.

M: Money to pay my bills. Why would I put this on here? Because I work hard to earn mine. And for that, I’m thankful. For both the opportunity and the ability. There’s not much left at the end of the bill paying but we make it.

N: Naps. When I have the opportunity to take one. They refresh me. They give me all too rare time to myself.

O: Oliver. I’m not going to elaborate on this one. I’m just thankful.

P: My parents. They loved me. They raised me to be the strong person that I am. They taught me right from wrong. And I miss them so much.

Q: Questions from my little guy. Especially the ones that I’m able to answer. These days, that’s asking a lot because he really is a smart and thoughtful young guy.

R: Rest at the end of a long day. If I’m lucky enough to get some. I’m happy to get what I can. Along with root beer. A&W is the best.

S: My salvation. It’s mine and can never be taken away from me.

T: Tears. I shed them on a regular basis. They cleanse me. And relieve my stress. And my tattoos. Cause they’re pretty.

U: Ugliness. Because it helps me to realize how much beauty there is in the world. And it helps me to see that beauty more clearly.

V: Vegetables that are so yummy in my tummy. Now if I could only get Elijah to eat them.

W: The words that constantly roll around in my head, occasionally coming out to form a blog or add a chapter to one of my books. Sometimes they even make sense.

X: Exits that will take me on my next journey. Yeah, it doesn’t start with x but it’s close. And I believe my journey is even closer.

Y: You. Yes, you. The one who is reading this right now. If it weren’t  for you, I would have no reason to write. And yogurt. One has nothing to do with the other. I just love yogurt.

Z: My zest for life. I am living the life I was always meant to. I am enjoying it. I am happy. Oh, and zoos. Because they are filled with all those lovely animals.

This is my list. Do you have one? Maybe mine made you think about your own. I certainly hope so because if it didn’t, then what’s the point? Thanks, Max, for getting my thoughts rolling. It was an awesome exercise.

So Now He's Six

I wrote a while back about Elijah’s obsessions throughout his short life and we have more of them as he grows. He has always been an interesting little guy, making us proud at every opportunity. Grabbing knowledge like it was food for his soul. I think he is a geek, if one so young can be called such. What other six-year-old walks around counting everything or spelling his sight words at the top of his voice? Telling his Pap Pap about the adventures of the Anaconda or describing the size of a tooth from the Megaladon (which, incidentally, is the largest whale to ever swim the oceans)? Well, he turned six years old this month and he is still showing the same intensity in everything he does and, while he is still wanting to visit his fire and police stations, his focus has changed to other things.

How about garbage trucks? His whole fifth year was learning about the garbage trucks. Our trash collector comes anywhere from 5:00 to 7:00 a.m. on Monday’s and Friday’s. No matter how early, there’s a boy in the window watching. And then telling us about it in a loud shriek. Early in the morning. Before coffee.

He’s borrowed every DVD in the library that has a garbage truck in it. We now know how they are built. We know where they are built. We’ve learned about front loaders and rear loaders and their functions. But his personal favorite is the automated side loader. Yes, he has a favorite refuse collector. For those of you who may not have ever seen one, it has a robotic arm that swoops up your trash can, empties it into the truck and deposits it gracefully back on the sidewalk, thereby eliminating the need for the additional trash man riding the back in between stops. I actually had to follow one of those smelly things home once so he could observe the process. What we do in the name of love.

Hello, music. Of course, his love of music goes way back. Since his introduction to the Imagination Movers…if you don’t know who they are, you best be scrolling through my blogs to learn… at about eight months of age, music has been in his life. And we are a music loving family. But of course Elijah being Elijah, he has to take it one step further. He eats pizza and makes up a song about what pizza is or what’s on it. He sees something on TV and right away he’s singing about it. Commercial jingles. Movie soundtracks. He’s on it. This is in addition to knowing every word to every song the Movers have ever released.

            

           

But the latest real obsession is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. He was Donatella for Halloween. Our Christmas included two, yes two, Shell Raiser vehicles, stickers, ninja dudes, masks, swords, jammies and a sweatshirt…you name it, he got it. His Christmas money was spent on a large sized Rafael and a helicopter thing with buckets for ooze. His sixth birthday? TMNT sheets, comforter, throw, tattoos, Michelangelo and birthday cake…along with the appropriate decorations, napkins and plates. He spent his birthday money on a shell. That he refused to take off once he got to the cashier (she had to scan it while it was on his back). Wherever we go, he wears a mask, and now his shell, and carries a sword. We attract a lot of attention.

                                                     

Along that line, he has a mild, if anything Elijah does can be considered mild, romance with the Power Rangers. Who, incidentally, fight the ninjas. He has every color, with weapons included. Our battles of the rangers and the ninjas rage long and loud.

I wonder, as always, how long the latest “thing” will last. How long I will be transporting a ninja turtle to Target or the mall. How long will he scan the insert that comes with each turtle looking for next winner? How long will I be waging war as a power ranger against the mighty ninja turtle dudes? It doesn’t matter. As long as Elijah is along for the ride…or driving the shell raiser…I’m willing to play along. He has such style and energy, you can’t help but love it. And him.