Be Grateful

I read a two word tweet on Twitter from a follower (whom I follow as well) that I’ve never met.  We may live in the same state, perhaps hours apart or right down the street, or clear across the country.  Who knows?  But her two word tweet, whether directed at me or not, made me think of all the blessings in my life and the road that’s led me to where I am right now.  It wasn’t always an easy road, especially toward the end, but I’m glad that I traveled it, since without it, I wouldn’t be the person I am now, doing what I am doing. The tweet was “Be Grateful.”

 My father died two years ago yesterday.  He fell off of his porch in 2008, broke a few bones and upon his release from the hospital, came to live with me.  He stayed with me for most of the last two years of his life and we became very close.  I learned things about him I never knew.  Watched him bond tightly with my children.  Learned to cook old family recipes.  I got to know him in a way I never would have if he hadn’t lived there.  I miss my daddy (he was always “daddy”) but his death meant the end of his suffering and the beginning of a new phase in my life where I finally grew up.  I will always be grateful that I had that time with him before God called him home.

 When I received my portion of my father’s estate, I was able to do something I didn’t have the means to do before.  I quit my dead end, boring as dust, energy sapping, stress filled (you get the picture) job that I had been in for eleven years and move on to what I feel I was called to do.  I finally had time to empty my head of all the words that had been floating around inside it for decades, putting pen to paper as it were.  I’ve been doing so ever since but other words have taken their place and my head is still full so more must come out.  Therefore, I write.  Whether it’s good or not, I don’t know but it is something I have been forever compelled to do and never had the time or energy.  I will always be grateful that I now have the inspiration to do what I feel I was meant to do.

 I was also able to make a move that I couldn’t prior to my father’s death and that was to leave an energy sapping, stress filled, increasingly dangerous living situation.  I finally had grown up enough to realize that some things just can’t and won’t change, no matter how much you pray they will.  Occasionally the answer is no.  When leaving is the only option you have, whether you want to or not, you have to just do what you need to do.  Get on with it.  And I will always be grateful that I had the support of family and friends in this time, giving me the courage to move on.

 So now I live many miles from the same family and friends in a new place where I felt called to move.  Of all the places in the world, I chose this one.  Why?  I don’t know but I feel at home here.  My daughter and her baby are happy here and at peace.  We have a nice home and good, friendly people living all around us.  I don’t have a job yet but again, that gives me the time to purge my head, to learn more of what I need to know to do what I am doing and to refocus on my future.  I miss my people back in the home land but I have the internet (to read the local paper), Skype (to see familiar faces) and my cell phone so I can call often and hear the voices that I love.  I miss my other baby girl that I left there (ok, so she’s 22 but still my baby) but again, modern technology makes it easier to bear.  And I will always be grateful to have that technology available to me.

 I am thinking of all this tonight because someone I don’t know and will most likely never meet reminded me how blessed I am.  Here, with faith, love and happiness, in a new world so to speak.  Counting my blessings and always grateful.